A bluffers guide to Deep Soul

You never know when you might find yourself in conversation with a deep soul freak, trying to impress them that you’re not just one of those shallow music fans who only put a record on to keep the silence at bay. The last thing you need is to see him (and it WILL be a “him”) roll his eyes as you let slip one gaffe after another…

For those embarrassing social occasions Sir Shambling presents a handy Bluffer’s Guide.

DON’T SAY “For God’s sake put on a record with a bit of life in it, these plodding dirges are getting right up my nose!”

DO SAY “It’s only on a ballad that you can REALLY tell a great vocalist, they can’t hide behind the musicians.”

DON’T SAY “What’s that strange noise the singer is making? Is he gargling? Why doesn’t he see a doctor if his throat is bad?”

DO SAY “Those hoarse, gritty singers are the business. It’s the way that they turn the emotional heat up when they cut loose that so impresses me.”

DON’T SAY “These days music is so much more exciting – modern R &B really came into it’s own when computers started being used.”

DO SAY “Only real instruments will do. The soul went out of black music when cheap, robotic synths came in.”

DON’T SAY “You can always judge a record on the way it sells – the soul charts properly represent black musical and artistic values.”

DO SAY “Great art needs a connoisseur’s ear. Often the rarer a record is, the higher quality it is.”

DON’T SAY “Diana Ross, Northern Soul, drum machines, rap/house/garage/trance.

DO SAY “Muscle Shoals, Memphis, Stax, Atlantic, Sound Stage 7, horn sections, country soul, blues, vinyl.”


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